Normally I refrain from putting anything personal on this blog. This is primarily a tech source of reference but with what this month is, what this upcoming week is and this weekend I felt like I needed to do this.
I have been asked several times why I walk for Susan Komen. I don't have a family member who died of Breast Cancer so why? Its true my family has recently died of Heart Disease, Alzheimer's, and a few other things. So why Komen and why Breast Cancer?
I can do the PC response: I walk so no one else has to. I walk for my daughter. I walk for those who can't. And those who know me know these are all reasons that I believe in and are part of the big reason. But what is the big reason I walk?
These guys are why:
Yes I am a New Kids fan but there is more to it than that. This is not a sympathy play but an explanation. I grew up feeling like I was not good enough, wanted or would be anything. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did or how well I did I was always told it wasn't good enough it could have been better. IT SHOULD have been better. I was never thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, just never enough.
Then they came on the scene. Without knowing me, talking to me directly they spoke to me. They showed me that even when the whole world does not think you are enough, even though they all hate on you and put you down you can be anything. The girls loved the 5 bad boys from Beantown the rest of the world hated them. They can't sing, they can't dance is what the world screamed and yet there they stood doing their thing.
I became a huge fan because of that. Yes Donnie Wahlberg was and is fine. But his positivity became my anthem and I applied it to the best of my ability to my life. I was going to be good enough even if it was just for me. The haters and the rest of the world may not believe in me but I do.
When they left the scene I kept memories and the stories and never forgot. I kept going. I knew in whatever they did the 5 Bad Boys from Beantown did too. I knew they wouldn't stop, No More Games they were going to keep going.
As the years past I kept remembering and believing. The social networking media came about and fans like me connected. That's when I heard that one of these guys who helped me see my own worth lost someone special to him. Someone he loved dearly and I could relate. It seems like the few people that always believed in me are the one's that died of diseases like Cystic Fibrosis, Heart Disease, Alzheimer's, etc. So while I never knew him or his mom I knew the pain from the loss.
She is why I walk. He is why I walk. I still have never met him personally. I met Donnie just this year long enough to take the picture with him but never said a word. I knew my words could never say what I meant to say or express what he and them gave me without even knowing me. Plus I knew that there were others who needed the time to talk more than I did and that just this moment would be enough.
I may never meet them again. I may never have the chance to speak with them. But I can give back just a little of what they gave me. I can believe in a cure for something that took her from him. I can walk for that cure. I can raise awareness. I can do for those who can't.
I will walk every chance I get. I will bug my friends and family for donations to something they think is pointless and me just being a fan girl to. I will walk a week from today no matter how sick or tired or sore I am and every year after.
I will wear pink or a Komen shirt everyday this week. I will be as in your face as I can with my Think Pink and Breast Cancer Awareness Gear not just this month BUT EVERY MONTH. I will walk every year even if it means doing the walk in a wheelchair or with an oxygen tank tailing me. Even on my death bed you will find me on that road whatever State I am in figuring out a way to get my bed to roll down the path. I will remember not just the 5 bad boys from Beantown who showed me how to believe in myself but I will always Remember Betty. Because without her NKOTB wouldn't be NKOTB and I wouldn't believe in me.
So take a moment today, this week, next Saturday, or this month and Remember Betty and those like her who may have lost their battle but picked up a few new fighters against the War. Remember not just this month or this year but always because everyone deserves to be remembered. Everyone deserves to know their battles were not in vain and that their fight mattered. Everyone deserves to be believed in.
Why do you walk?
